Little Readers, Big Impact:
Explaining Egg Donor IVF To Your Children
With Dr. Julie Nathan
& Dr. Lori Woodring
As the founder of Cloud9 Conception, a two-time egg donor, and an advocate for IVF awareness, I’m always searching for meaningful resources to help intended parents navigate important conversations. With so little literature available for young readers, I was absolutely captivated by a recent publication centered on egg donor conception and written specifically for children. Having worked in the field of In Vitro Fertilization for seven years, it was refreshing to come across a book so deeply needed by the community—and so rarely found.
Today, I have the pleasure of sitting down with Dr. Lori and Dr. Julie, the creative minds behind the children’s book Completely Wonderfully You. This heartwarming story of Egg Donor conception has captured the attention of young readers and parents alike, offering not only engaging storytelling but also meaningful lessons woven throughout its pages. In our conversation, we’ll explore the inspiration behind the book, the journey of bringing it to life, and the impact the authors hope it will have on children and families everywhere.
Shelby: Can you start by telling us a little about yourselves? We will get to the professional backgrounds soon, but let us know what fuels your passions!
Julie: I am a mom of adolescent triplets, which has been the most rewarding and humbling experience of my life. I have two amazing rescue dogs who at times are way easier than my kids. I’ve always been a deeply feeling person who loves meaningful connection, whether through close friendships, time in nature, or reading a great book. Becoming a psychologist was a natural choice because I’ve long been drawn to connecting with people and exploring what makes life meaningful.
Lori: I’m a mom to four amazing daughters, including twins who made my parenting journey unforgettable. One of my twins was born with the help of a gestational carrier, and not long after, I had two more girls. Four under four! Life has been a rollercoaster ever since. I’ve always loved to travel, and one of my favorite adventures was living in the UK with my family for five years. When I’m not working or spending time with my girls, you’ll usually find me on a beach walk, catching up with friends, hiking with my two golden retrievers (one’s a boy, which gives my husband a little backup!), or binge watching a great series.
Shelby: You're both psychologists! It's always a relief to see women supporting each other in such intense fields. Can you tell us how you crossed paths? What made you connect?
Julie: We met way back in graduate school in 1995 while working on our PhDs. Lori was a few years ahead of me in terms of life milestones like getting married and thinking about kids. I remember the ups and downs during the years she was starting her family. Many years later, when it was my turn, I found myself walking a very similar path of fertility challenges. Lori was a true mentor for me as I navigated the surrogacy process. That experience really deepened our connection, not just as colleagues but as friends who could truly understand what the other was going through.
Shelby: You've each openly talked about your journey in the world of IVF. When did you first notice the lack of children's literature around the subject of third party reproduction?
Pretty much immediately, when our kids were born. As new moms, we went looking for stories that reflected our children’s beginnings, and there were very few that fully captured the complexity of children’s early experiences. We wanted books that would help us celebrate our children’s stories, and that gap was really striking.
Shelby: While your personal histories seem to answer this question, we'd love to give you the chance to express this in your own words. So... the million dollar question- what inspired you to write the book Completely Wonderfully You?
The inspiration came from that exact gap. When our kids were born, we couldn’t find books that reflected or celebrated our children’s stories with the depth we were looking for, and we wanted to change that. At the time, Lori created a homemade book for her twins to explain their story. Since then, we have always wanted to create resources to help all children see their own beginning as something to be celebrated. As psychologists and as moms, we knew how important it was to normalize these beginnings and to give families a tool to start conversations with pride and transparency. Completely Wonderfully You grew directly from that hope.
Completely Wonderfully You: A Donor Conception Story For Children
Shelby: It's clear that technology is growing exponentially. More donor conceived children are learning their origin story (love calling it this, it's such a super-hero term!), and we're excited to see a soft introduction that can keep the conversation present throughout a child's developing years. As psychologists who have both used IVF, how important do you think it is for children to have access to their conception story? Is it ever too early to have these discussions?
We know from both research and our own experience that the earlier a child knows their story, the easier it is for them to embrace it as a natural part of who they are. Studies have consistently found that children who grow up always knowing about their donor conception or surrogacy tend to feel more positive or neutral about it. In contrast, when the story is revealed later in life, especially during the teenage years or adulthood, it is much more likely to be a shock or feel upsetting.
Overall, the field has really shifted toward encouraging openness. There is a growing focus on supporting and educating parents who want to be transparent with their children, especially since advances in genetic testing have made it increasingly easy for kids to discover their origins on their own.
In our work, parents often struggle with when and how to explain their child’s origin story in an age-appropriate way. They want to be open, but are unsure what to say or worry about saying the wrong thing. That is really where these books come in. They offer parents a gentle way to start those conversations from the very start. Instead of feeling like a one-time big talk, the story naturally becomes part of bedtime reading, part of family language, and part of the child’s identity. It helps parents feel confident, and it helps kids feel proud of their beginnings.
Shelby: Completely Wonderfully You is a beautiful book. And, you have an entire series! Can you tell us a bit about the other books that you've published together?
The Stories That Make Us is a collection that celebrates the many ways families are formed and the special story behind every child’s beginning. The collection includes children’s books about adoption, birth via gestational carrier, birth via donor conception, and stories about being a twin or a triplet. Each one is designed to help children understand and embrace their story while giving parents language and tools to talk about it openly.
Shelby: What message or feeling do you hope that readers take away from Completely Wonderfully You?
These stories are about love, connection, and belonging, and our biggest wish is that families walk away from the book with a sense of pride in who they are and the language to start talking about topics that can sometimes feel difficult.
Shelby: How can our clients, or anyone who's looking for these resources, purchase one of your books?
Right now, all of our books are available on Amazon. Here are the links:
The Forever Nest http://bit.ly/4lhaloh
The Enchanted Nest http://bit.ly/4kIfeXy
Completely Wonderfully You http://bit.ly/3FMJl0Z
An Enchanted Story: Our Journey to You http://bit.ly/4e9Xm5B
Tip and Blue The Magic of Two https://bit.ly/444UiTx
The Wonder of Three bit.ly/4nCEXlH
Meet the Founder of Cloud9 Conception
Shelby Carpenter
Shelby is a two time prior egg donor, IVF advocate, and founder of Cloud9 Conception, LLC. She has worked in the field of fertility for over 7 years, during which time she has dedicated herself to the specialized role of third party reproduction in IVF. Her professional and personal mission is to make Egg Donor IVF more accessible and personal for those building their families.
Meet The Authors of Completely Wonderfully You
Dr. Julie Nathan
I am a licensed psychologist in both New York and New Jersey with more than 24 years of experience working with people with a wide range of struggles. Prior to entering full time private practice almost two decades ago, I was on faculty in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Montefiore Medical Center/Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York from 2000-2004.
Dr. Lori Woodring
I received my Bachelor's Degree from Cornell University and my Master's Degree, Professional Diploma, and Ph.D. from Fordham University. I am a licensed psychologist in New York and in Connecticut, where I currently have a private practice. I have worked in school, hospital, and private settings and was an adjunct professor at Fordham University's Graduate School of Education. I have presented my research with children and families at national and international conferences.
